Well,

Here I am, reading a book by an author I hardly knew before I was assigned to read it, who apparently the 2013 Nobel winner Alice Munro, while I'm supposed to work a little progress on my bachelor's thesis. Instead of working on it, I spent the last five hours watching The Perks of a Wallflower (which I had decided to watch because of Emma Watson, but found myself charmed by Logan Lerman) and Scent of a Woman (in which Al Pacino won his Oscar; which of course I had expected to be full of masculine charisma The Godfather had emitted yet turned out to be a touching drama).

I just realized this term I have watched more movies than I had ever watched in each past term. Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby, Rectoverso, Old Boy, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Lone Ranger... and I rewatched The Sound of Music, The Man in the Iron Mask, Love and Other Drugs. That's nine movies. I leave out the five episodes I watched from Rooftop Prince, a Korean drama.

And I just figured out how I like to watch movies. How I enjoy them. And I get to know, to acknowledge, the greatness of actors like Leonardo DiCaprio (whose roles in the three movies were significantly distinguishable) and Al Pacino. These movies give me an insight to another world I had had accessed years ago. In my brain.

High

I was scared
I didn't know what to think
I didn't know what to do
I saw you were high and you put on this idiotic smile
And so my heart beat faster

Oh, no, it was not at all bad
You were all loosen up and cheerful
Though your drowsy eyes were still the same
And you said things that made me truly thrilled
"Where have you been?" you asked
"Been looking for you back there."

If you remembered,
It was your second time saying you were looking for me
The first was a year ago when I had missed your play

It might have been the lights
The people
The place
The circumstances
It might have been your state of drunkenness
That got me overwhelmed with excitement

I was there all the time
I was watching you went on and on about stufff
I saw you standing under the spotlight
And so suddenly I felt the urge to hug you
To hug and hold you tight

But I couldn't
Watching you from afar was the best I could do
With heart that beat too fast
And I found myself carried away
By your ridiculously strong presence
And the state of being high was felt throughout my body

(131013)

Feelings

I don't know if this feeling
Is because you're a part of something old
Something remains in my heart

I don't know if this feeling
Is because you're the one
Who's there when I need a shoulder

Or maybe this feeling
Is simply a feeling
That shall pass as the time goes

So if God thinks it's nice for us
Maybe we will be given a chance
Just to see if it really works

But God has been rather nice to us today
For we've been given the chance
To spend some time together
And I don't see why
I shouldn't enjoy it to the fullest

I don't know if this feeling
Is sweet or sour
All I know are the way you laugh
The way you smile
The way you sway me with your treatment

And, oh, she comes
And all the things that I've just had
All the moments I've just cherished
All goes to her

And I don't know exactly
What I just feel
After all, I could never stand against her

(041112)

Biar

Sekali lagi,
untukmu yang berjuang
yang memeras keringat hingga tak setetes pun tersisa
yang dengan kedua kakimu datang dan pergi tak henti jua

Mungkin doa yang kupanjatkan hanyalah setitik air dalam lautan
Hanya batang rumput dalam hutan

Namun izinkan aku menyambut datangmu dengan doa agar Tuhan angkat lelahmu
Izinkan aku mengantar pergimu dengan doa agar Tuhan selamatkan dirimu
Izinkan aku menunggu kembalimu dengan doa agar Tuhan jamin kebahagiaanmu
Dan izinkan aku mengelap peluhmu dengan doa agar Tuhan lihat semangatmu

Dan dengan doa pula aku melepasmu...
Agar Tuhan biarkan aku jadi tempat pulangmu

(021013)

A Goodbye Kiss

If you asked me,
I'd say I want a goodbye that ends with a kiss

Not with arguments
Nor curses
Nor grudges

Not by phone
Nor even worse, text message
Nor emailI want the one we didn't go through

Hello.

Hello.

All these times, I have a habit of writing down my inner thoughts on my Blackberry. Since it's going to be on sale soon, I decided to post here.

Sorry if there's one or two repost.

Cheers!

Melati

These days

Dear sunshine,

these days, love feels so simple. Now that we are meant to meet almost every day, I can spend hours talking to you. I love smiling while talking to you. I also love laughing at whatever you say.

I enjoy your company almost every time, even in text messages. I can spend minutes looking at your name and wanting to say "I miss you. Do you notice? I like you."

It used to break my heart when I know she's around, but not anymore. And love cannot be any less relieving than knowing it no longer hurts. 

These days, love cannot be any less delightful than knowing we are getting more and more comfortable with each other.

ooo