Him (10)

It is.
Awkward, I mean.
Despite the times we've spent together and the serious talk about the serious matter, I just can't seem to find a way to feel comfortable around you.

Today we've ridden together without talking.
And now I'm left with you sleeping.
Again, no talk.
I know what would happen when you wake up.
We'll be in silence.

Or...
Maybe I don't know.
We seem to communicate better when there's just the two of us.
That, I'm not sure why.

Now I don't know you at all.
I don't know us at all.
Oh, I'm sure if you have just a bit of what I feel toward you, you would already be courting me.
But then sometimes I'm not sure.

I'm afraid of knowing the truth.

And honestly a bit afraid of challenging myself to try again.
Loving someone, I mean.

(HMJ, March 11, 2013)