I don't love him

I don't love him.
I told him I thought I liked him, but no, I don't love him.
He likes other girls. Wait... no, he likes her and her. Just these two girls.
I had my broken heart when I figured that out. But wait, there was one thing left for me to do.
So I did.
I confessed.
You see, I had always been confused of how my feelings toward him should be.
Should... I like him as a friend? Or... should I like him as a potential boyfriend?
And once I had my heart broken, I noticed how I might have liked him as the latter.
So, I confessed and ta-dah!
The aftereffect was not that painful.
So I guess, I might have just been slightly care more about him than I did about anyone else.
No, I don't really want him to be my boyfriend, but I want to shower him with attention.
What do you call this feeling?
It cannot be a crush, right?
I already knew that were we together, we would have a lot of disagreement.
We have different lifestyles, different preferences, different ways of handling conflicts.
We are both self-centered, stubborn, likes to dominate the talk; we are both different.
And that were we together, the only thing that will keep us together is how we make up for each other.
If we have a fight, he will come to me and ask me what's wrong.
He will be persistent in requiring the reason of me being mad or upset.
He will sit with me for hours until I give in.
He will talk to me with soothing tone until I speak up even though he will raise his tone later.
And if I insist not to tell him why, he will remember until two weeks later. Or more.
He will try to casually fish out the truth from me still even after two weeks.
And if we have had the talk, we will be much nicer to each other.
Each fight is a step in a staircase toward closeness.
Were we together, we will have lots of fights because we are different.
We will break each others' hearts but we will also be the one to glue it back together.
But he doesn't know this much. Not as I do.
So I know we will not be together. We cannot be.
Because it will be good for me, but possibly not for him. 
My heart is smart enough to acknowledge this.
So, no, I don't love him.