After a long time...

You age well,
darling, like wine
I've no choice
but to dwell,
darling, so fine
you are so fine
Alas!
this fondness
is for you to quell,
darling, be mine
be mine

be mine

be mine

To Be or To Not Be

To start or to not start
To go forward or to stay still

To know or to not know
To say or to be silent

To explain or to not explain
To share or to keep

To try or to not try
To get hurt or to avoid

To live or to not live

To be happy or to not be happy

To be or to not be,

for I am on the brink
of collapsing.

Rambling

During the detour from pursuing my further study, I slowly lost my will to fight. I was not sure whether I should pursue it after all... I mean, I function just fine with my freelance work (except for days when I have no job order = no money). I actually enjoy translating movies and book, especially since I act as the boss/team leader of a small freelance translator group in a movie translation project. It is basically a combination of my favorite things: movies, translating, freelance work, good pay, and being in charge! However, I resigned from my office job partly because I wanted to pursue my Master's degree. I must not let it go to waste, mustn't I?

The truth is, I was on the verge of letting everything go and giving up on it. To my surprise, I kept going forward, as in I took the IELTS test... I contacted my lecturer who are studying Creative Writing abroad... I asked my goal-oriented, organized friend for an advice to stay on track... I scheduled my weeks for Googling and researching... and I did it all when I felt hopeless the most. I guess that just shows how truthfully, I do not want to let this go.

Fortunately, it turns out to be a good thing in the end. Now that I am already too involved in this, almost everything keeps me on track. For instance, I put off doing my essay for a scholarship because I find it too ambitious even for me, but apparently... to get my thesis advisor's recommendation letter, I still need to write the essay. Since I have already talked to her about it, I can't just retreat and forget the whole thing. Now I have to seriously work for it. 

Hap hap hap!