If being there for someone without the person doing the same feels this nice, imagine if it's mutual.
There are painful moments, of course. Those moments were filled with pain from watching him turn to some other people at his best while turning to me at his worst. They were filled with disappointment from knowing I couldn't always be counted on. They were his birthday: me giving him cake and he gave it away to his friends. They were those after parties when he looked real happy, but not sharing it with me. Yet I just can't ignore the happy moments... The absolute reason I stay. He's never asked me to stay, nor would he, I'm sure. But I like the way he smile and laugh and make jokes that totally fail. I like the way everybody likes him and laugh along with him. I like him when he's fun and crazy and wild, and when he's serious and determined. I like how he turns to me for help, knowing I'd help. I like the thank-you messages he sends every time. I like the way he's being proud and the way he cuts my line whenever we're talking. I like the way he calls my name, even though this might sound cliche. I like it when he looks for me in front of our friends. I like how he sticks to me after two and a half year even though this is just for help. And undeniably, a part of me, though small, can't help dreaming of a similarly small space in his thesis maybe someday later. A space for my name in the thank-you opening. That space, although small, means something big for me.
So, if being there for someone without the person doing the same feels nice, imagine if it's mutual.
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