It's 2015!
Happy New Year!
I am asked about my New Year's resolution, but I don't really have one I can say out loud.
Recently, I found out that I am interested in spiritual and religion issues more than I would admit out loud. It concerns me how the face of Islam in Indonesia is now really ugly - with the double-standard, the superficiality, the shallowness of its practice - and as someone who was born a Muslim, it saddens me.
I, myself, am not a religious person. That is, I do not practice all Islamic rituals correctly and punctually. But I am not a non-believer of Allah. I believe that there is a Being out there who created us humans, and that whatever we do at the moment is being watched by that Being. If I should call the Being with the name of Allah, so be it. I was raised with monotheist teaching, so it is hard for me to imagine there are more gods. However, I am not saying it is wrong, because the truth is subjective. I can believe with all my heart that Allah is the only God, but other people can also believe they have their own gods. Well, I'm a skeptic, so yeah. I don't expect you readers to agree with me.
Anyway, due to ugliness that surfaces these days, I somehow feel it would be nice to learn about religions deeper. Especially my own. I believe Islam is in itself a kind and peaceful religion. Unfortunately, I cannot see it here; in my homeland. Or maybe I just haven't met the right believers.
And so I find my first New Year's resolution: to learn about Islam and to meet its right believers.
Then, there's another thing that has been bugging my mind since early last month: my new job. I know that being a teacher was not something I wanted. I had thought it would be boring, and I cannot stand being bored. I had thought it would be stagnant. But then I met these wonderful people in this great school where I can put into practice the things I have learned in college. Their goals are inspiring: to bring some culture to the English study. Soon English class at schools will not only be about making a reservation and showing direction. The students will learn about relating a movie to a period in history, about haiku and its 5-7-5 rule, about types of characters. They will learn what it means to be alive; to be humans that are made from the world - not just flesh and blood. Plus, the school is the inclusive type, which means there will be kids with special needs. In an instant, I know I can love it here.
However, not many people are impressed with my choice. I don't understand why I have to impress them, but I feel that way. Perhaps it is because being a teacher is not my initial choice. The (un)impression daunts me. And so I find my second New Year's resolution: to tackle my doubts and fears and to succeed more than mere surviving in my workplace.
I think this year is the second year I really give New Year's resolution much thought. The funny thing is that although every year since I knew what it is to desire someone I have always longed for a relationship, I don't really think it can be included in my resolution. Maybe it is because I know that for a relationship to work we need two people, and it is beyond my control and thus I cannot strive for it by myself. There are too many unexpected factors. I'm a control-freak at heart, so it won't work for me. I will, however, try to move my ass and sweat a bit more for better health and figure.
That's all. Let's wish 2015 to be another remarkably happy year filled with life-changing adventures!
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