Being a Teacher (1) - Keeping Up

Hi.

So the thing that I want to tell is you is about me, being a teacher. I had never thought I would become a teacher because it had never been my dream job. For now, it has only been two weeks, so I cannot say for sure whether I am going to like it… but so far, these have been an exciting week.

You don’t say, not every day is a happy day. There were days when I felt like giving up and painfully overwhelmed, and there were also days when I feared going to class. But there were also days when I felt self-satisfied and my confidence is boosted. Those were the days when I managed to find the other sides of my students. These days, both the bad and the good, will come to me again in the future. That, I know of.

If there is one thing I realize, it would be that teaching feels like doing a presentation for a class everyday. Imagine you have to do a presentation every single day! Every morning, I get up with some kind of burdened feeling of wanting the day to end soon—because you just know a lot of people will have their eyes on you and they will evaluate you. It does not matter whether you have the authority to score them; they will evaluate you. They will decide whether to behave or to mess with you. But of course you have to go through with it—there’s nothing you can do about it—and some days, you’re just sorry they end so soon.

I don’t know much about being a teacher, so I have to struggle to adapt. Let me tell you, it is no cheap deal. Working with Mbak Sasha, my senior both in college and at work, especially, is a lot to do. She is very discipline and thorough, and she is really, really smart. She arranges her teaching materials into folders (both the digital and physical ones), she thinks of the ways to make the school better in a way that makes me get the feeling that she is somewhat revolutionizing the school, and she even makes a great teacher! My feeling says she devotes her life to her school. No wonder, really, considering it’s her school.

At first, I had a hard time keeping up with her. Fortunately, my second week with her is generally better than the first and it means that I’m improving. Even just the thought gives me a kind of relieving self-satisfaction.