Oh, God, I'm so consumed by the wrath she caused.
It all began after this GIZIBE and I played guessing game about with whom our heart belong. Perhaps, at that time, I already subconsciously knew we had the same crush.
* * *
I'm the one who said it first. I told her that I like HIM. This GIZIBE, who were usually very mischievous and cheerful, suddenly replied rather coldly. She was being totally obvious that she, too, like HIM. Yet, she kept denying.
I decided not to continue playing the guessing game because it's getting boring the longer the players keep their secret. Even though it was obvious to whom her heart belonged, I could not be 100% sure if she did not say it. For some time, this GIZIBE told me about how happy she was with the guy she liked.
Then, on the 9th of JUly, she decided to spill it out.
"Yes," she said. "Yes, we do like the same person. It's HIM."
I was blanked. It was like there was "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" in my head. Repeated, repeated, repeated. Oh, it was expected, of course. I wasn't surprised. I knew it was something to feel sad for. I just didn't know how to respond.
I immediately told Gevin, who- of course- were with me because of the work we have together, and Marco, who were online on Facebook as always. I knew I could cry anytime then, but the tears could not flow naturally. Especially not when I didn't even know what to feel. As a matter of fact, instead of sadness or grief, the first feeling that striked me was relief.
I was grateful that GIZIBE told me the truth.
I hate her in an instant- naturally- but I was a good pretender. At least, I could do better in avoiding the awkward situation than her. Or not. Recalling the memory from yesterday, I was being awfully sarcastic... with the smiles and the laughs. I even simply stated my disappointment.
The first thought that came to me was "This is crazy." Why did it always happen to me? My first time was with my close friend. This time with this GIZIBE I'm getting to know. However, this time I refuse to think I'm not good enough. Instead, I believe the one meant for me is just not here yet.
I was confused of what to think and do when she suddenly wrote "Sorry for being close with HIM," on our chat page. This... GIZIBE, I'm not sure if she's a fool or she's simply being mean. I mean, what did she expect me to respond? Another "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" popped in my head.
Did she expect me to give in? To put my hands up and surrender to the fact they're closer than I do to HIM?
I did not write back until she called me out.
"Mel, haloooo."
I responded back with a hello and tried to act casual. Since I'm a good pretender, I can avoid the awkwardness.
Then, jokingly-with-a-bit-truth-behind-it, I said, "It's not fun anymore since now I know how he has feelings for you," to which she responded "Hahaha, yeah, what to do about it...", WHICH kinds of ridiculously unbelievable.
It occurred to me for the second time that day, is she a fool or is she being mean?
Never before had someone did me wrong. I mean, surely some people behave annoyingly or proudly, and that upsets me. But for someone to literally does an evil deed to me? It has never happened.
She's a bad female for sure. Bad meaning bad.
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